A Letter To Lost Friends

To all the friends I lost in the past two years,
What can I say that I haven't already said to myself all those long sleepless nights?
I've cried, I've blamed you, I've blamed myself, I've regretted and finally I've accepted.
Because you all taught me something.
To the friend who told me people would leave me the way she thought I was leaving her.
You were right. What I considered a spiteful last remark turned out to be the truest thing anyone has ever told me.
But you were also wrong. Because I still have a few who stuck around. And I've learnt to appreciate them more fully.
To the friend who shut me out.
Thank you. You taught me that sometimes I can't help people. And all I can do is step back. Sometimes my enough isn't good enough.
And that's okay. Because you can't help everyone.
To the friend who ghosted me.
You simply slipped out of my life. I don't know what exactly happened. You made me cry, you made me wonder what I did. If we were actually even friends. You wrecked me.
But you made me stronger. Because I know now I deserve more.
To the friend I hurt and got hurt in return.
I'm sorry if you thought I didn't care. I did. I always did.
But you taught me to be more careful with words. Because a few angry remarks can destroy the best friendships. And I learnt that sometimes I have to put awkwardness and self doubt aside when a friend, even one I'm fighting with, needs me.
Lastly.
To the friend who broke me.
To the one who cut me off with brutal words and silence.
To the one who promised so much and yet got tired and left.
I still love you even now. I wish I didn't. You hurt me the most. You made me cry for days. You killed me inside.
But I'm done. I never deserved this. I know that now. Good luck with everything. I hope you find what you're looking for.

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