Imperio, Now I Own Your Soul

When did age become synonymous with wisdom? When did the word feminist  become an insult? When did fighting for respect become inappropriate and unseemly? I guess it all started with. "Girls should be seen, not heard." "A lady is soft and fragile." "A lady does not speak in a loud voice." "Girls are supposed to let boys protect them." "Girls are supposed to be neat and tidy." No. Screw that. A girl is supposed  to be a girl. A woman is supposed  to be a woman. And that is whatever she wants it to be. There is no other should. There is no other supposed  to. There's just you. There is no ladylike or unladylike. There's good and bad choices. But alas. A girl is born. And society slaps the first label And suddenly she's fair game for every carefully aimed barb, every disparaging remark. Because unfortunately. You don't see us as individuals. We're plagued by your expectations and opinions. Because...

To all the friends I lost in the past two years, What can I say that I haven't already said to myself all those long sleepless nights? I've cried, I've blamed you, I've blamed myself, I've regretted and finally I've accepted. Because you all taught me something. To the friend who told me people would leave me the way she thought I was leaving her. You were right. What I considered a spiteful last remark turned out to be the truest thing anyone has ever told me. But you were also wrong. Because I still have a few who stuck around. And I've learnt to appreciate them more fully. To the friend who shut me out. Thank you. You taught me that sometimes I can't help people. And all I can do is step back. Sometimes my enough isn't good enough. And that's okay. Because you can't help everyone. To the friend who ghosted me. You simply slipped out of my life. I don't know what exactly happened. You made me cry, you made me wonder what I di...

LOOKING BACK  Time. A fickle creature. It gives and takes When it wants. It goes by. The blink of an eye. A flash of lightning. A shooting star. That lights the sky. And then it's gone. The world is dark And I think If only I could go back. I swear I'd never. Take for granted. Those long walks. The frequent talks. The shy smiles. That grew to something more. The sound of your laugh. My answering grin. Sneaking off When the world seemed grim. The comfortable silences. The sense of safety. Forgetting the meaning Of being alone. But the star has passed The lights are out Time has passed This new chapter seems grim No talks, no walks, no laughing sounds But in the seeming bleakness I smile This is but temporary It'll come back No more a passing glow But as the light of my life Till the end

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I sit on the edge of the bed, gasping for breath as I try to cling to sanity. Inhale. Exhale. As the world spins around me, I grasp my head in my hands trying to shake free of the blackness that clings to my vision. At this point, I can't even recall what triggered it. All I know is that my lungs are heavy, my chest feels like lead and my hands shake like they'll never be still again. Inhale. Exhale. Panic attacks .  Dictionary meaning : A sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety. What an apt description. And yet. Even though the description is perfect.  It's also, so underwhelming. Anxiety, Depression. Hopelessness. They're all just words. Squiggly lines on paper. An A here, a T there. String them together, make a word.  But what word, what line, can properly convey the despair and the hopelessness felt. The feeling that all happiness is beyond your reach. The bottomless p...

SUNKEN Empty words, broken dreams Fruitless orchards, waterless streams Gusty sighs, weary bones Blank eyes in a face of stone Fingernails dig into my hand  In the overgrown wilderness I stand A graveyard full of lost hope Where lies buried that with which I could not cope Scars and bruises cover my soul Oh life clearly took its toll A student of strife, a soldier of pain Close my eyes, go down memory lane To a time of joy, a time of laughter Where I worried not about what came after.

DELUSION People say that you get inspiration from rock bottom.  That when you hit the ground. When there's no way you could fall more. You get back up again and you rise up.  Bullshit.  There is no rock bottom to hit. That cloud over you? It doesn't have a silver lining. The April showers won't bring any May flowers to your life. Anxiety is you. You are Anxiety.  If I had a penny for every time someone wrongfully said it would get better, I'd be rich but that won't happen because that would be nice.  And Life isn't giving you nice.  Sure you get breaks. Moments of tranquility. But that's just the calm before the storm.  Sometimes I think maybe that's part of the torture. That ray of hope. Dangling in front of you as bait. And you fall for it. Everytime.  And then Life swoops in and snatches that hope and with the hammer of Reality it crushes your dreams.  And you're there on the ground picking up the shards, vowing you'l...